I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
