I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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