can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize