His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
