For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
