Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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