I heard we made out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
