After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
