Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
