as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
