just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
