he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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