We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
