I am full of burrito and curiosity
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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