belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
