so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
