I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
