pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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