Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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