I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
