I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
