Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
