ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
