i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
