Just fell off a train. Bad.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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