i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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