My brain says no but my pants say off.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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