It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Randomize
