Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
