Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
