It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize