I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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