I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
