So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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