I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My feet surprised me
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