I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i think i just lost a toe
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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