No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
