Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
