I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
