Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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