i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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