I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
