Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
