even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
