His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
