Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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