Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize