There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
