Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
