I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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