I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
