thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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