Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
