is your mom at the bar?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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