At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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