She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
