i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
